Someone said to me the other day, “But this is me… They need to accept it.”
No. No, they really don’t. If you have something so weird and horrendous about you, YOU need to change. Would you date you if given the opportunity? Probably not, if you’re prefacing your demeanor with “…this is me.”
Your “Me” kinda sucks. Your “Me” is probably why you’re still single. Actually, no. It’s exactly why you’re single. I’m not saying other people won’t date weird people, but when you know it’s weird, you need to cut it out.
How to do this?
First, reevaluate your standards. Someone “normal” is not going to put up with your “weirdness”. If you’re not willing to change, you’re just going to have to accept other “weirdos” who’ll bask in the glory that is you and weird.
And I’m not saying change completely. You should, but it’s obvious weird can be quite hardwired into brains. That said, hide your weirdness. In fact, ask yourself several times of day if the way you’re thinking is weird. Seriously. Do it.
"Is what I’m doing weird?"
If it is, stop it. Stop being weird.
Secondly, be fair to yourself. You deserve love and the only one getting in the way of that is you. Holy snaps! Why would you do that to yourself? You probably have some amazing love to offer to someone else and you’re being so weird that you’re ACTUALLY setting yourself up for failure. You’re your worst enemy. That’s weird.
If your weirdness is limiting yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually from meeting someone absolutely amazing, I cannot help you. You can only help you. Quit being weird and if you can’t, start dating weird. Enough.
“There are plenty of things in this world to be offended by, but in my opinion, being called a name is not one of them. If you’re offended by a word, you need to work that shit out with your therapist.”—RuPaul
All things considered, including a man absolutely hating on his date for the evening, when it comes to the departure, a gentleman (or a boy with half a brain) first makes sure his date gets into her cab before he bounces into his respective subway, at the very least.
My personal rule of thumb is that the man actually get into the cab with his date, drop her off, and then head home. OR pay for his date’s cab home. OR walk his date home if the location is convenient. But at the very least… put her into the cab first before you head home!
Do NOT hug her awkwardly outside of your subway station and bid her addieu before she’s even had a chance to flag down a car. Men of New York, this is rude behavior, and I honestly wonder what your mother would say if she knew you treated women this way.
It doesn’t really matter if there is no chemistry. If you lived in any other city or town in America, you would have probably picked her up with your car and drove her home after. Just because you have a MetroCard in your pocket doesn’t mean that chivalry goes out the window.
I’ll be hosting Dinner with Strangers tomorrow night at Ethos Gallery 51. If you’d like to join us, make sure to be at Ethos (First Ave & E. 51st St) at 7pm. Make sure to ask the hostess to direct you to Maria’s table.
Can’t make it this week? We’ll be hosting Dinner with Strangers every first Thursday of the month. Same place. Same time. :-)