June 2011
12 posts
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Select photos from Agape Match’s Spring Fling 2011.
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May 2011
29 posts
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It’s finally that week NYC women have been waiting for, where the ratio of men to women is in our favor: FLEET WEEK.
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Kongratulations
Not that I typically care about the Kardashians, but I couldn’t help but notice the front cover of People today. Kim is engaged! She won’t die a bag lady as she feared. Kongratulations.
What struck me more about this story was not that they were dating for 6 months or that her ring cost $2 million, but that her fiance’s name is Kris with a K. He’ll fit right in with the...
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Love Letter From My New Stalker
It reads:
Muahh, I just can’t take off my eyes from your pics, you look stunning honey, absolutely gorgeous.. can’t I be with you for the entire time I have in this world to feel your warmth and presence, having a strong crush over you now, would you want to be in my arms honey too?? I’m serious babe.
Ooomff…How will I ever resist. Luckily, new stalker lives in 3000...
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You know when...
…you momentarily think of someone you haven’t thought of in nearly a decade, and you wonder,”Whatever happened to that jerkface” and then the following day they request for you to be friends on Facebook?
…yeah.
I have a very sensitive intuition.
Sidenote: Friend request not accepted.
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“475 years ago today, Anne Boleyn was executed because Henry VIII was sick of her...”
– My friend, Katy B.
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Planning to die this weekend?
Is the rapture getting in the way of renting out your awesome, rent controlled, preferably doorman apartment in Manhattan below 96th street?
Look no further! Let me take over that lease.
I make an awesome tenant.
Sidenote: My entire building is being evicted. Not sure how legal that is (probably not) but none the less, moving out may be a preferred option than hiring a lawyer and going to...
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“Those who snicker about tend to be curious or envious.
It’s best to walk...”
– Today’s random thought.
Online dating maps reveal kinkiest and loneliest... →
chiaraatik:
Most virgin women: Louisiana 2nd (New Orleans)
Least virgin men: Louisana 2nd (New Orleans)
Well how does that work?
today:
Most lonely women: Ohio 18th (Eastern Ohio, Rural)
Most lonely men: Georgia 9th (NW Georgia, Rural)
Least lonely women: Illinois 2nd (Cook County Chicago Suburbs)
Least lonely men: California 33rd (Los Angeles)
Most happy women and men: Washington’s...
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If you want to marry a Greek Man...
…you’re going to have to remember that most Greek* men are not looking for wives but future mothers of their children.
In fact, they’re probably looking for modern versions of their own mother. By modern, I mean, not putting plastic covers on the living room couches. All the other qualities should probably remain the same.
I said most Greek men. Not all. But chances are if...
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Everyday conversations...
Guy: So, where's my future wife?
Me: When you sign up, I'll introduce you to her.
www.agapematch.com
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Dear Dating Bloggers,
It’s come to my attention that you all describe yourselves as “Carrie Bradshaw”. This makes me want to punch you.
Unless you have a history of passive aggressive intimacy with men who constantly dick you over and an unhealthy obsession with shoes, you are not Carrie Bradshaw.
You are just a dating blogger in NYC.
If you actually get paid for your posts...
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Today's Confession
I sometimes wonder how my dad would feel if I brought Zach Galifianakis home.
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Turns out, a matchmaker set up Bin Ladin with his fifth and last wife. Not a good day for the industry.
If it’s any consolation to the US Government, I promise to notify the FBI if any of their “Most Wanted” sign up for my services.
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“In case you were wondering… Heck yes! I got it from my Mama!”
– Happy Mother’s Day!
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No One Cares About Your Friends
If you’re online dating and any of the photos you have posted include someone other than yourself, especially someone of the opposite sex, you’re doing it wrong.
Successful first impressions shouldn’t leave anyone wondering which one you are or if the friend you’re featuring is single (because they are hotter than you). Oh yeah…and if you’re a guy posting...
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According to Greek mythology, humans were...
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Worst Pick Up Line EVER.
The worst night to be a wingwoman for a client is on Cinco de Mayo.
You’ll hear fabulous pick up lines, courtesy of Jose Cuervo.
I apologize for interrupting. My penis has died. Can I find it in your ass?
It was amusing to watch this person save himself, kick the waters to surface, to gain my respect back for being so obnoxiously inappropriate, especially since we were in a swanky over...
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Me: So, I'm setting you up this month. Will give you details next week.
Him: What's her name?
Me: I'll give you details next week silly.
Him: I am a little strange but I get a feel off first names.
Me: Her name is [Name Redacted].
Him: wow! ok positive feelings already
Me: HAHAHAHAHA Okay then!
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“If he was really the one, you wouldn’t need to convince yourself.”
– Today’s #DateTip
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Conversations about my Greekness
Someone: So what are you? Cuban?
Me: No. *Puzzled expression* I'm Greek.
Someone: But your name is Maria.
Me: So?
Someone: Well that's a Spanish name.
Me: *Eyebrows raised* Maria is a derivative of Mary. The Virgin Mary wasn't from Spain. She was from the Middle East... and that was like.. over 2000 years ago!
Someone: I'm Atheist.
Me: *Rolling my eyes*
Someone: So, what's your last name? Is it... Greek sounding?
Me: Uhh... If it does, do I finally pass the Greek authenticity test?
Someone: *smug look*
Me: It's Gingivitis
Someone: Are you serious? Oh MY GOD! Do you know what that means in English?
Me: Probably the same thing in means in Greek? It's a Greek word.
Someone: I'm not a dentist.
Me: Of course you're not.
(Note: My last name is not actually gingivitis. Close though!)
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Who were you dating when Osama was killed?
People are asking on Facebook and Twitter, “Where were you when the President announced that Osama has been killed?” or “What were you watching when the news broke out?”
Well.. these questions have grown tiring already.
Instead, I want to know, “Who were you crushing on?, dating?, loving? losing sleep over?, contemplating cutting your wrists for?”
“Pedicures are a girl’s best friend. No one is going to give you diamonds...”
– Reema M.
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Per yesterday's post...
…I totally pictured what the sex was like between the First Family last night.
I imagined someone chanted, “USA! USA! USA!” My money is on Barrack. (And the chorus of American citizens outside the White House…)
I bet Michelle even allowed back door access.
After all said and done, the President smoked a Marlboro.
Michelle sighed, “God Bless America.”
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When I meet couples, I sometimes wonder what they look like when they have sex.
Not always. Sometimes.
And sometimes, I reach the conclusion that they probably have really boring sex.
Case in point, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.
I can’t explain it.
