• 11th February
    2013
  • 11

Valentine’s Day Flowers Office Delivery, Yay or Nay? (YAY!)

Guess what, gentlemen?! You’re definitely buying flowers this Valentine’s, and you’re absolutely sending them to her office! 

Theoretically, Valentine’s Day is about proclaiming the love you have for the woman in your life. Theoretically. That’s it. Period. 

Realistically, it is really about women showing to the other women that they work with that they do not in fact go home to a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, but to either a Ben or Jerry (or Dimitri, George, Yianni, or Nick if you’re of the Greek sort.) 

If you really want to score points this Valentine’s, send her a bouquet to the office. If you want passive aggressive behavior from your woman, which will inaccurately color her as ungrateful, have flowers delivered to her home. Jerk.  

You see, in an ideal world, giving her flowers at home would be just fine. But in the real world – let’s face it — women are bitches. What’s the point of buying overpriced flowers if it won’t gather the attention of envious female co-workers? 

Having flowers delivered to the office screams, ”I am loved!! Look at me!” Other women will scoff at this, but secretly, they’re jealous that the flower delivery guy has yet to call their name. It’s like that Valentine’s Day episode in Season 2 of The Office. Even though the episode opens up with Pam confessing she didn’t want Roy “to go too big for Valentine’s, since [they] were saving up for the wedding,” as Phyllis is adorned to what can only be described as Cupid actually throwing up on her, Pam’s ego begins to drown in disappointment.

You are going to buy your woman flowers, and you are having them delivered to her office. End of story. 

…but Maria, my woman says she doesn’t like Valentine’s… Bullshit. 

…but Maria, my woman has already instructed me not to deliver flowers to the office because she says “it’s tacky”… Sorry to break it to you, but your woman probably has another man who’s probably sending her a bouquet, and she doesn’t want the office to know she has a side piece. 

…but Maria, I’ve only gone on less than three dates with her… If you want another date, you’re sending her flowers. 

…but Maria, my woman works from home… Okay. This is the only time that a bouquet is acceptable to be delivered at home. 

Maria Avgitidis is a matchmaker and dating coach at Agape Match, a matchmaking company that caters to New Yorkers and Greek singles, and CEO of AgapaMe.com, an online dating site for Greek singles.

  • 14th February
    2012
  • 14
  • 14th February
    2012
  • 14
  • 14th February
    2012
  • 14
  • 14th February
    2012
  • 14
  • 10th February
    2012
  • 10
  • 9th February
    2012
  • 09
  • 1st February
    2012
  • 01

Want the good lovin’, gentlemen? I’ve got you covered this Valentine’s.

If you have any sense at all, you are currently ordering Valentine’s Day flowers for the woman you are dating or married to. Hellloooo? It’s 13 days away! 

Theoretically, Valentine’s Day is about proclaiming the love you have for the woman in your life; she’ll appreciate your token or gesture of love in any setting, whether you hand her flowers in the privacy of your house, take her out to a romantic dinner, or just whisper “I love you” in her ear when you arrive home from work.  But take it from me.  Want to really score brownie points this V-day? Send her a beautiful bouquet of flowers at her office!

                            

 Whatever you do, don’t get her carnations. 

You see, in an ideal world, giving her flowers at home would be just fine. But in the real world – let’s face it — women are bitches. What’s the point of buying overpriced flowers  if it won’t gather the attention of envious female co-workers?  That’s what women really want!

Having flowers delivered to the office screams,  ”I am loved!! Look at me!” Other women will scoff at this, but secretly, they’re jealous that the flower delivery guy has yet to call their name. 

This, of course, should not be misinterpreted that flowers delivered on February 14 at her home is a bad idea. Flowers are always appreciated, and though the gesture is the same, it just much more fun, satisfying and pompous in a public space. 

Each time the office door opens, women pretend not to notice, but their hearts beat just a bit faster, anticipating, wondering, if you were as thoughtful as the husband of the evil woman in the next cubicle.

Upon delivery of office flowers, twenty minutes will be spent grooming the flowers (which of course, were delivered in a vase). She’ll find the perfect spot on her desk to showcase your love. She’ll have the dented “ugly” side of the bouquet face her, and the beautiful blooms face out.

She will be the envy of the office. She’ll really love you for that.

So get that work address handy and send it over there.  You’ll totally be “the Man”…. and all it cost you was $39.99.

                              

Not sure how serious you are? Or where it’s going? Go with tulips. They’re sweet and partially innoncent. 

On a personal note, I’ve actually been summoned to jury duty this Valentine’s, which begs the question, “What the hell do I do if I know in advance that she won’t be in the office on the 14th?!” Very simple: You should order those flowers to be delivered on February 13. You’re SOOOO going to get the good lovin’. I promise.